a game all the kids will be playing

Let me begin with a little disclaimer: I am an animal lover. I have never and will never intentionally inflict harm upon another living being. I hit a squirrel with my car once and had to pull over to regain my composure. I still feel guilty.

That being said, I am deeply disturbed by an urge that frequently comes over me.

As I speedwalk down the busy city sidewalks, I always encounter those nasty little rats with wings someone once dubbed pigeons. They are dirty little creatures. I sometimes think they are cute, especially when they are all puffed up, looking fat and rolly. I cringe as I walk closer, closer - there is a flock and it isn't moving - closer, and then at the last minute they disperse. I instinctively duck. I sometimes shriek. I am always concerned about gifts they may shower upon my head.

I don't know why, but every now and then I fantasize about taking a running start and launching one of those nasty gray butterballs into the air with my foot. The image is vivid in my mind and it's down right hilarious.

I've got problems.